Srigala Alaska

Thanks for taking this picture Clare. I appreciate it ! lol.
bawa anjing ke tengah kota? udah biasa. tapi kalo serigala alaska? this is extraordinary. ini adalah pengalaman pertama gue face-to-face sama 3 ekor serigala alaska. waktu itu gue, nyokap sama ade gue lagi belanja bulanan di Asian market yang letaknya nyerempet ke downtown san luuis obispo. setelah sukses ngeboyong kecap & saos ABC, 20 bungkus indomie dan beberapa makanan asia lainya. lily (anjing pomeranian kita) yang ditinggal didalem mobil tiba2 aja rame. ade gue yang emang rada risih denger gong2annya langsung nyamperin sambil bawa keranjang belanjaan yang belom dibayar. & betapa kagetnya dia pas liat mobil yang parkir disamping mobil kita ngangkut 3 ekor (yang sebelumnya gue kira) anjing ukuran abnormal di bak mobilnya. malah salah 1 dari mereka duduk dikursi penumpang sedangkan 2 lainya dibelakang. nyokap gue ikut2an keluar pas tau clare nyangkut melototin mobil sebelah sambil ngelus2 tu anjing yang ternyata serigala. gue yang emang belom engeh sih santai2 aja nyari belanjaan yang lain sampe akhiranya nyokap gue nyuruh gue keluar. gue setengah ga percaya pas keluar terus denger raungan khas serigala yang sebelumnya cuma gue denger di TV doang. kepala mereka hampir mirip kaya beruang. gigi mereka sumpah dijamin tajem dan ukuran mereka kira2 2 kali ukuran anjing golden retriever. Man ! that's huge ! nyokap langsung nanya2 sama pemilik tuh serigala yang emang ramah banget. dia yang niatnya juga mau belanja dengan senang hati ngeladenin gue sama ade gue yang dari tadi ngelus2 serigala peliharaanya. Mister (gue lupa namanya) itu bilang dia punya 11 ekor serigala dirumahnya. gua bisa bayangin pasti rumah tu mister gede banget bisa nampung 11 hewan ukuran abnormal ini. pak mister bilang mereka jenis Alaskan wolf, dia juga punya serigala jenis lainya dirumahnya. dia udah nganggap serigala2 itu kaya anaknya sendiri (maklum, kata si mister dia ga punya istri apalagi anak) makanya dia sayang banget sama 'anak-anaknya'. masing2 'anaknya' rata2 didapet dari perlindungan hewan & pa mister juga punya izin buat melihara mereka. dan anehnya anak2nya itu emang bener2 jinak. disuruh ngeraung, mereka mgeraung. disuruh duduk, mereka duduk. dan ajaibnya pas mereka disuruh buka mulut trus tuh miser masukin kepalanya ke mulut mereka, mereka diem aja. ini bener2 pengalaman yang ga akan pernah gue lupain. hal lain yang bikin gue ga kalah takjub adalah fakta bahwa srigala2 ini hampir ga pernah menagung pas malem hari. beda sama mitos2 yang beredar dipasaran kalo serigala itu hobi mengaung pas malam hari. diakhir obrolan gue sama pak mister dia nyuruh salah 2 serigalanya buat nyium gue. dan apa reaksi gue? I was so freaking out ! tuh fotonya diatas hahahahahahaha :D

My (last) senior year

my plan was to focus my senior year on information I could use after graduation when I set out for planet earth. my report grade said I wasn't even close to brain-dead and I was set to be accepted at any college I chose (as long as I chose one that would accept me). a lot of people I knew use their senior to catch up on partying and reward themselves for making it this far. Not me. this is my year to read everything I could get my hands on, to speak up, push myself and my teachers to get the true hot poop on the world at large. So I could hit the ground running.but now it seems so hard. why is it so hard to focus on something. I feel like I lost my direction. I feel weird being in here. I've set my goals for the next 10 years while I was in the US and I have promised to myself that I'll live my dream. but hey... my new circumstance is truly driving me nuts. wanna know why? well the thing is everything is so much harder and especially when your life gives you a shits. no matter how hard I've try it keeps result nothing. although from the beginning I do believe with this : "just when you've given up along comes a miracle that turns your life around". but it wasn't that true anymore.

sebungkus cinta dari Amerika

seumur hidup gue belum pernah ngerasain yang namanya LDR (baca: Long distance relationship) sampai tiba saatnya gue pisah sama seorang Collin Bryan. dari awal kita udah tau kalo ini ga akan mudah. ga akan sesimpel yang orang kira. & ini emang kejadian. gue pribadi ga pernah nyangka kalo gue bakal menitipkan hati gue ke dia. dia yang notabenya tinggal 95.000 mil jauhnya dari dimana gue berada. gue inget banget pas paso robles pioneer day parade dia & temen2nya di club international ikutan nimbrung sama kita (anak2 exchange student). mereka banyak tanya tentang negara asal kita & seputar kehidupan kita di Amerika. kalo tingkat keramahan orang bisa dirating, gue bakal ngasih dia nilai 9 out of 10. sumpah, dia super ramah. ga dinyana, setelah gue pulang ke Atascadero (kira2 15 mil dari paso robles) & cek account facebook nama dia udah ada di jajaran "friend requests". Ya. gue seneng bukan kepayang pas tau dia nge-add gue di facebook. ga lama setelah gue confirm, dia muncul di chatbox. & dari situlah berlanjut dia minta no. Hp dan bla bla bla bla bla... sampe akhirnya jadian. selama jadian dia sangat menghirmati status gue yang emang seorang muslim walaupun dia cendrung kritis dengan nanya ini-itu tentang islam, tapi mungkin dari situlah timbul rasa yang beda sama dia. gue pun ga tau gimana untuk ngejelasin perasaan itu. perasaan itu beda. walaupun kita jarang ketemu, tapi tiap kali chatting sama dia rasanya itu udah sangat lebih dari cukup buat gue. sampe akhirnya kita terpaksa pisah karena gue harus balik ke Indo. di bandara santa maria, dia & teman2 nya dateng untuk terakhir kalinya. dia sempet ngasih gue kalung berliontin gembok yang berbentuk hati. dia bilang kunci dari liontin itu ada di dia, yang berarti bahwa cuma dia yang bisa buka hati gue. cewe mana sih yang ga meleleh pas denger kalimat semacam itu? sampe sekarang kalung itu masih gue simpan baik2 sampai tiba saatnya gue bakal make kalung itu either kalo dia ke sini atau gue yang ke sana (aminnnnnnn...). & kemarin sebungkus kiriman cinta datang lagi dari Amerika, walaupun cinta itu hanya di kirimnya lewat chat box di fb, tapi rasanya bener2 nyata. gu bersyukur dipertemukan dengan orang sepeti dia. orang yang selalu bikin hari2 gue beda dan jujur, gue ga menyesal telah nitipin hati gue ke orang ini walalupun 1000 kemungkinan bisa aja terjadi masa datang.

Draft

ini sedikit creepy. Ok, jujur gue tipikal orang yang ga terlalu peduli dan ga mau peduli dengan hal-hal yang berbau gaib. gue berprinsip "alam lo ya alam lo, alam gue ya alam gue". gue udah nempatin rumah gue yang sekarang selama hampir 12 taun. & sejauh ini gue (pribadi) belum ngalamin kejadian gaib sampai kemarin malam. kalo sebelumnya bokap gue pernah di'diliatin' makhluk wanita berawalan K berakhiran K pas lagi ganti lampu disamping rumah, nyokap gue pun pernah ngeliat laki2 jalan melayang sekelibat ngelewatin depan pintu kamar nyokap gue. beda lagi sama tetangga gue yang sering bantu jaga rumah kalo keluarga gue mudik. mereka konon sering dikasih liat wujud laki2 tua bolak-balik dikamar gue. kata orang sih dulunya rumah gue itu bekas kebon dan katanya pohon nangka yang ada sebelum rumah gue itu termasyur angker.
nahhh.. dalam hal ini cuma gue sama ade gue yang Alhamdulilah belum pernah ngalamin pengalaman sejenis itu selama kita tinggal disni. sampai kemarin lah mungkin tiba giliran gue. tapi yang gue alamin kali ini sedikit-aga ga masuk di akal. jadi ceritanya kemarin itu listrik mati dari siang sampe malem kira2 jam 9an. dari siang pun hujan ga konsisten,turun engga,berenti engga sepanjang hari. cuma netbook, dan 3 handphone lah yang masih bernyawa disaat2 kaya gini. dari sore gue iseng2 surfing internet dihp gue, sampe akhirnya hp gue tewas. trus gue beralih ke hp nyokap gue. awalnya ga ada yang ganjil dari hp nyokap. semua bekerja sesuai fungsinya. nyokap gue itu tipikal orang yang ga betah liat inbox, sent items atau draft penuh. makanya nyokap selalu rajin ngapusin spam di hp-nya. dan inilah ke ganjilaanya. pas berawal dari gagal ngirim pas nyokap sms bokap, secara otomatis pesan yang ga kekirim itu masuk ke draft. pas nyokap liat draft, nyokap gue kaget bukan kepalang ngeliat ada 1 draft yang ga dikenalnya. draft itu berisikan "kang, geus sare can" dan beberapa kata lainnya yang menggantung, kurang kesusun & ga gue ngerti apa maksudnya. langsung gue pencet tombol send buat liat mau dikirim ke mana sms itu, tapi di kolom recipient ga ada nomor tujuan. gue tanya nyokap ada yang pernah minjem hp dia apa ngga, nyokap bilang ngga. bulu kuduk gue sontak langsung berdiri. pasalnya, keluarga gue itu ga da yang bisa bahasa sunda walaupun kita tinggal di linkungan sunda tapi tetangga2 terdekat rata2 orang yang merantau dari jawa semua. ga lama abis itu, langsung gue apus draft misterius itu. dalem hati gue mikir, "apa emang ini draft milik makhluk lain?" "apa mungkin makhluk lain juga ga mau kalah eksis dijaman yang serba elektronik ini?". gue yang ga mau jadi parno gara2 draft itu langsung balik kekamar yang saat itu masih dalam keadan gelap gelap. gue tiba2 inget kata mbah gue yang emang bisa ngeliat apa yang ga bisa orang awam liat, kata si mbah sih kamar gue emang ada penunggunya selain gue. & dia ternyata yang 'nemenin' gue itu Alm. Mbah gue yang meninggal bahkah sebelum gue lahir. Kata si mbah sih, Almarhum suaminya mau nemenin anak bungsunya (baca:bokap gue), dan gue pun ga pernah keganggu pas tau hal ini. posisi kamar gue emang katanya strategis buat 'mereka'. letaknya sebelahan sama kamar mandi, dapur & ruang makan. kamar gue pun jadi makin 'adem' karena cahaya matahari cuma masuk pas pagi sampe siang doang. yaaaa... intinya sih kejadian ini masih rancu banget dipikiran gue dan emang belum bisa dibuktiin secara ilmiah lol.

dedicated to my dearest friend.

seems like things happened 1 after another,
I'm trying to think life on earth as a video game.
a serious one, one you are totally drawn to. while you're playing that game you don't pay any attention to anyone or anything else. you're sucked in. you learn the rules and follow them to a tee because you know if you don't, you are out of the game.

you get excited; you get disappointed; you get pissed; everything is focused on continued play.
play the game once and you might last a long time, but play it again and you might get taken out early because something in the game jumped out and kick you out.
and if you are playing it with someone else, they get better because you do your best and they try to stay with you.

well, what I'm trying to say is
I feel so helpless... I feel there's nothing I can do but pray.you have to know there's people who are praying, Hoping joy is what you'll find.
God isn't a guy, God isn't a girl. God is force. you can not create and you can't kill.
and I believe God will always be with you. we are here to play this game with you. I hope you'll never feel week because we are here to give you strength.

it's just a note...

Diary saya selama di Amerika:

O Lord.. what the heck I'm thinking about right now?
Questions were running trough my mind in these past few days.
I've been here about 7 months and it's just great, I love my American family and friends.
I fell in love with a Country named United states, but it hurts me a lot knowing that I'm going home soon. frankly, I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready facing the reality that I have to finish my senior year after I get back.

gez, I bet it gonna be hard. I realize not all people could be able to accept me as what I really am. I'm thinking about that over and over again. I asked to myself what would my life be if I'm not in this place at the moment. then I remember the reason that I was here was because I needed a change.
there was no point in feeling sorry for myself because this was my own decision. I decided to really take advantage of my new surroundings and try immerse myself in life here to learn as much as I could.

looking back on the past 7 months, I've learned so much that it's sometimes too hard to comprehend. after being accepted for studying abroad, I started to view my current life more critically.this entire semester of traveling and meeting new people has really given me a global perspective by exposing me to so many opinions. even though in the beginning it took awhile to feel comfortable, this year has offered me many brand new experiences. it was just the change that I was looking for. and seems like it gonna be vise versa when I get back.
I guess the place that I called school won't be the same anymore, but that's OK for me because I don't really care that much. I don't care with the class title or stuff like that, I don't care what people might think about me. I TRULY DON'T CARE.
I've learned a lot of valuable lessons in life and this year really helped me grow as an individual.
I went as a young, immature teenager, and hopefully I'll come home as a mature & wiser teenager.

My Cuesta Essay

There is a huge difference between being knowledgeable about a country and understanding its culture. One year ago, I thought I understood other cultures; I knew that different countries have different cultures, and I thought I can be easily adapted with new place and new culture. But in fact I was wrong. I didn’t quite know what to expect from this country. I had little knowledge about United States other then Transformers was filmed there, that they played American football, and Barack Obama is the present president. Ninety-five hundred miles separates me from home, Traveling half way across the world has truly opened my eyes to a whole new perspective on life. I made a lot of mistakes in my exchange year, and I don’t regret it because I believe either small or big mistakes are the most useful things in life. There is always something to be learned from it and mistakes offer an immediate piece of feedback to anyone who is wise enough to learn from it.
Knowing that the world is full of wonderful things, I courage my self to study abroad. Like Miriam Beard said:” Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living." And I’ve learned so much from mistakes by mistakes that I made, which seemed traumatic but gave benefit to my life. I have never traveled anywhere by myself before, so naturally studying abroad for an entire year in United states will be such a unforgettable experience in my life. Emotions build up, and thoughts go through on my head as my time got closer and closer to departure, I was becoming extremely nervous. Questions were running through my mind. Will I going to miss my family? How am I going to adjust to making new friends? Is my new family going to be friendly? As I was preparing for my year abroad,
I was looking forward to a year that would change my mindset, views, maturity and respect for a whole new culture. But first time I got here I thought that this is a big mistake being an exchange student. My first 3 days living in American family was quite not impressive. I never had a pet before, but here everything is different. They had a big Dog that practically I scared of; I was not brave enough to pad him or at least touch him. I was so afraid that the Dog might be attacking or may be biting me. Then I remembered the reason why I was here was because I needed a change. There was no point in feeling sorry for myself because this was my own decision. I decided to really take advantage of my new surroundings and trying to immerse myself in life here to learn as much as I could. There’s nothing that I have to scare of except myself. The one that made me scared of Dog is not the Dog indeed, but I. I made myself scare of something that I never try to get along before. I made myself believed that Dog is an unfriendly creature who doing nothing except bark and eat. But then after a while live in American family, observed how they treat the pet as the member of family, I realize that I was locked into a primitive theory about everything that basically I never try to observe, including the theory that says the Dog is unfriendly and useless creature. I am so glad that I worked so hard to get along with Dog and now I found myself not only as new person who’s not afraid of the creature named Dog but also a person with new perspective of life, not as a person who’s scares of the Dog and even afraid to get along with them.
Looking back the past 6 month, I’ve learned so much and it’s sometimes hard to comprehend. After being accepted to the study abroad program I started to view my current life more critically. In the end, this entire semester of traveling and meeting new people has really given me a global perspective by exposing to me to so many cultures and opinions. Even though in the beginning, it took awhile to feel comfortable in a foreign country. This year offered me many brand new experiences, it was just the change that I was look for. I wanted to see what else is out there. I was excited about the chance to see the world and myself from another perspective. I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons in life and this exchange really helped me grow as an individual. I went as a young, immature teenager and hopefully come home as a maturing & wiser teenager, at least I would know what was out in the world and I could appreciate who I am and the life that I lead back home.

Sakit Perut

Yasalammmmm.. judul diatas sungguh bukan judul yang kreatif apalagi menarik. tapi inilah yang disebut kenyataan. pagi ini gue bangun jam 6. setelah malam sebelumnya tidur jam 12 gara2 nonton Mr. International 2010. Great Britain menang, gue senang. trus menghayal, kapan gue punya cowo kaya dia... hahahahahaha parah. gue masih ragu nutup nb gue. Skype belom ke instal, sepanjang malam minggu ini kerjaan gue cuma nyumpahin either skype ato nb gue yang ga bisa di ajak kompromi. fb juga seolah ngajakin ribut. temen gue yang notabenya tinggal ga terlalu jauh dari temat dimana gue tinggal jungkir-balik-jumpalitan gara2 ga bisa chatting via fb. padahal temen2 gue yang lain lancar2 aja chattingan sama gue. entah provider 'pohon' yang sentimen sama provider yang gue pake ( saya 2) atau apalah ceritanya gue ga ngerti.intinya malem minggu kemarin bener2 edan lah. & sesuai judul, pagi ini gue Sakit perut (hahahahahahahaha) gue sendiri ga tau apa penyebabnya. atau jangan2 gara2 'hewan misterius' yang ngegigit jari tengah gue kemarin?. sumpah bikin parno banget. jadi ceritanya kemarin pas gue mau mindahin baju2 kotor, tiba2 ada yang ngegigit jari tengah tangan kiri gue. Astaghfirullah, sakitnya bukan kepalang. gue tanya kenyokap gue .
gue : " ma, tangan eka kenapa ya, tadi digigit sesuatu sanpe sekarang masih nyelekit banget..."
nyokap : "digigit kalajengking kali" nyokap gue bukannya nolongin malah nakutin. gue yang tadinya udah parno jadi makin parno lagi. sementara itu ade gue yang dari tadi cuma nontonin tampangnya ikut2an pucet pas gue bilang "yahhh.. eka bakalan mati dong mah?'' nyokap cuma mesem2 ga jelas. & sampe akhirnya rasa sakit di jari tengah gue ilang diganti dengan sakit perut yang sampe saat ini masih melanda (apa cobaaaa).
yasudahlah.. initinya tulisan ini memang cuma keluhan saya perihal penyakit saya ini. semoga Dr. Blogger bisa memberikan resep apa yang cocok untuk penyakit saya ini. hahahahaha